By Mike Barnett
I hope 2010 was a year to suit you. Here are my fearless ag predictions for 2011.
January 2011: In late 2010, People for the Ethical Treatment of Animals (PETA) lauded Bill Clinton as Person for the Year in honor of his newfound vegan diet. PETA revokes title as the former president is discovered in a compromising position with a cheeseburger.
February 2011: Global warming officially declared dead after mini-Ice Age continues to grip East Coast.
March 2011: Mass defection to meat markets as vegans discover there’s a little bit of bovine in most everything.
April 2011: San Francisco Board of Supervisors held hostage by unhappy children after passage of legislation restricting Happy Meals and other fast foods.
May 2011: The United States becomes food insecure after Environmental Protection Agency’s success in implementing regulations that control dust and pesticide spraying puts thousands of farmers out of business.
June 2011: Congress abolishes EPA when they discover imported food is full of dust and pesticides.
July 2011: First Lady Michele Obama lauded by food activist group Consumers With Common Sense as she urges exercise and self-control in addressing obesity in America.
August 2011: Urban sprawl turns the Houston-Dallas/Fort Worth-San Antonio triangle into one huge parking lot.
September 2011: Popularity of animal rights groups and food extremists plummets as consumers discover farmers and ranchers are willing to grow any type of food consumers are willing to pay for.
October 2011: Social media use by agriculture skyrockets as farmers and ranchers find out consumers really do want to know more about the food they eat.
November 2011: Humane Society of the United States (HSUS) credibility suffers severe setback as undercover video shows HSUS Fundraising Committee meeting at all-you-can-eat rib joint.
December 2011: Santa Claus brings farmers and ranchers good rains and high prices.
Have a great year!