By Gene Hall
I love sports—most of them anyway. I’m into everything about the culture of football, baseball and most other events that call for the athletic manipulation of a ball. And I especially like the food. The ginormous pretzels, peanuts, popcorn, crackerjack and various beverages of choice. Corny dogs, hot dogs and vegan dogs. The smells are intoxicating. No wait, what? “Vegan dogs?” Someone is pulling our leg! Sadly, no. An $8 vegan dog was at the Super Bowl, and was labeled that mega event’s most hated snack. No long lines there. No sir.
I am a guy for which a hot dog just doesn’t taste right without a ball game in front of it. I have eaten vegan fare before, as research mind you, and when it comes to those things masquerading as meat, one taste test was all that was required. Blech!! This is no omnivore’s dilemma, folks. It’s awful.
But, as an omnivore with a decidedly carnivorous bent, I must say that I love fresh fruits and vegetables, grains and wide choices in my food. It is not all that unusual for me to have a salad for lunch. Sometimes I eat it happily without any meat. One of my favorite meals is brown rice with quinoa and spicy pinto beans. Throw in some cornbread and this meatless meal inspires me to outright gluttony.
Serve THAT at the Super Bowl, or a platter of fresh fruits and vegetables. But throwing out a weak imitation of a time-honored American classic is just a little on the pathetic side.
So let’s roll that leather-covered ball out there and slather some mustard on a real hot dog. I’m not thinking vegan dogs will catch on.